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Employee of the Year
 Let me tell you about a story that happened to one of my mother-in-law cousin's friends. His name is Bart Quickley. He looks and acts mostly just like your average 30-year-old. But there's one problem: this past year he changed 7 jobs, being fired within the first week of work.

 The first job was driving a bus around town. Pretty easy, huh? Not for Bart, apparently. His third day at work went something like this: he started working by 8 AM but got tired and thirsty by 9:45. So, without a shadow of a doubt, he drove himself home, on his work bus full of passengers. At home, he read some newspaper while drinking orange juice. Needless to say, he was fired that same evening.

 Bart's second attempt was to be a pizza guy. His car was broken and the pizza company did not provide him with one, so he had to walk to each and every client. It was even enjoyable at first. Bart was walking from house to house, looking at beautiful nature around. All was good until his seventh day working. He forgot to eat breakfast at home, and one of the pizzas that he was carrying was actually a double cheesed pepperoni one, smelling like paradise. Bart could not resist. So he found a homeless guy on the street's corner and they both ate the pizza fairly quickly. That's how he lost his second job. He was hoping that the fact that he gave pizza to a homeless man would actually make him a hero in his co-workers' eyes, but it obviously didn't.

 Then he also tried to be a software designer, and couldn't resist creating a walking human-sized nose with 5 arms as one of the children's game characters. He got fired immediately. Then he applied to be a personal accountant. He impressed the interviewer and started working the same day at 3 PM. At 5 PM he was already fired due to the fact, that Bart thought it would be a terribly clever idea to delete all company's income records and play GTA instead.

 But the best story happened just a month ago when he was trying to work as a steward. The passengers boarded successfully and Bart's next task was to tell them about the flight.

 "Welcome aboard, my white, black and Asian looking friends. Oh, and that one Indian guy over there. Anyways, I'm supposed to tell you that our company has the best pilots in the industry, but none of them is on this flight. Also, make sure you learn how to use your seat belts cause you might need to buckle them up. Maybe. And also, if you're traveling with two or more kids, decide right away which one you love the most and are willing to share your oxygen mask with. Have a nice flight!"

Category: 9 grade | Added by: 25.07.2018
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